Hospitality as a Virtue
A reflection by Mrs. Mary Stewart, O.P.
Christ in the House of Martha and Mary - oil painting c.1655 by the Dutch Golden Age painter Johannes Vermeer.
Hospitality conjures up many things in our minds, most frequently we think of refreshments…cake and coffee, cookies and juice…but true hospitality is so much more than this.
Hospitality is a virtue, an attitude of the heart. It is the ability to see beyond ourselves and see the needs of others.
Just look around the community every day and you’ll see so much hospitality just in little acts of kindness. A simple smile is any act of hospitality…to make people feel welcome and special. To simply say “good job”, or give them a pat on the back is a great sign of affirmation. People need this, it makes them feel special and important, as well they all are.
Hospitality is present when the altar is prepared for Mass, bringing out the Chalice, cruets, towels and unlocking the Tabernacle. With reverence, these folks are preparing for the most wonderous gift our Lord has given us….the holy sacrifice of the Mass. They do this with precision.
All these tasks are the works of hospitality. We want people, all people, to feel welcome in our worship space….money or no money, clean or in need of a bath/shower.
We must see Jesus in every person we come in contact with….the friend, the stranger, the poor, the wealthy. Time and time again we hear about using our talents to glorify the Lord….well, true hospitality does that with a mere smile and kind word.
Miracle at Cana, oil painting c. 1887 Vladimir Makovsky
When you think of the First Miracle Jesus did at the request of his Blessed Mother, and the 2nd decade of the Luminous Mystery of the Rosary….the miracle at Cana. That was an act of hospitality and charity. Wine….there was no more wine and at the behest of his Blessed Mother, even though it was before his time, he gave respect to his mom, concern for the bride and groom and their guests, Jesus made water into wine for the guests….the miracle, water into wine, the hospitality for the guests of the wedding. Our almighty Savior was exhibiting hospitality. So when you are planning an event…calculate wine for your number of guests and pray to the Holy Spirit that he will give you assistance if needed!!!!!
In the Beatitudes, ( Matthew 25:34-36, 40) Jesus clearly states who will inherit the heaven….I was hungry and you gave me food, thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, sick you visited me, prison you came to me…that’s our St. Vincent de Paul Ministry all over the place….
Jesus says in John 14:2 that in his house He has many rooms, and He has prepared a place for us….that is clear to me…how ‘bout you? Christ our savior is loving and welcoming of a happy heart, let us imitate Him, by being this way to our neighbor, whether friend or foe. We are following part two of the greatest commandment-
to love your neighbor as yourself!
Scripture is full of hospitality. In the time of Christ, traveling from place to place was a major task.
As we come to know our faith deeper and deeper, we understand more. During the time of Christ there were no Motel 6s or Marriotts or Hiltons. Christ, his apostles and travelers of the time were dependent on the hospitality of others. Can you imagine for a brief minute or two, trekking across the desert in the hot weather, hungry, thirsty and dirty….and being welcomed into a home where you could satisfy your hungry heart with food and friendship, and even a basin of water to wash your dirty feet after traveling in the dry desert. Those folks in Nazareth, Jerusalem, Ephesus,……were practicing the virtue of hospitality. I am sure you all are aware of the Holy Thursday ritual of the washing of the feet of the apostles by Jesus…..He, the almighty Son of God was showing the apostles hospitality, and despite Peter’s protests to not wash his dirty feet, Jesus was teaching them to be hospitable, and they understood.
Our culture seems to gravitate toward food…. There are always snacks, beverages and meals. We celebrate all occasions with food- baptisms, communions, weddings and deaths, any occasion…. sometimes simple, sometimes very elaborate.
Our most sublime refreshment is the Eucharist….think, that Jesus used simple bread and wine to make this gift to us….not a medal, not a piece of clothing, not a tattoo symbol, but a communal table with bread and wine where, He turned simple bread and wine into His Body and Blood.
Every time we are receiving Communion we are accepting Jesus’ great hospitality of Himself….
How special is that?
I became the Hospitality Coordinator for the Religious Education School by happenstance….and, to be perfectly truthful, I absolutely love it, love it, love it….I can’t tell you how much I love it, because it is not a just chore…it is a labor of Love.
The sacraments for our youngsters are a special day for everyone, the children, the parents, the extended family…I want to make them all, and I mean all of them, feel special because they are bringing the children, whom God loves dearly, closer, and hopefully their guests closer to God.
I never know who will be attending the receptions after the sacraments, but I am telling you, everyone is excited…there is laughing and smiling even after Reconciliation (Confession). I remember I said to one guest confessor, the weight of these 7-year-olds’ sins has been lifted from their spirit and they are filled with the grace of God. Parents, Godparents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and siblings are jubilant in the reception of God’s grace. Of course, we have refreshments, but what better way to have fellowship, than over food.
For me, this evolved to encompass all the sacraments (with the exception of Holy Orders).….
I joyfully celebrate the Baptisms of babies into the Church, which I do behind the scenes by creating white garments for these infants and older persons. Sometimes I wish I could see these little ones, but that is not important, but what is important is that the parents and godparents know they are so special as to be entrusted with the care of this small gift from God that they will keep “ in touch” with our Lord.
With the RCIA program I have been blessed with seeing two couples unite in the sacrament of Matrimony….it has been such a wonderful experience to see a young man and woman eager to start their lives together as husband and wife with the blessing of God….the brides always look beautiful and grooms are always so nervous!!!!
In our parish we have a Lazarus Group which assists the bereaved family prepare for the funeral of their loved one. Helping sorrowful families through this transition process is quite moving. One Lazarus ministry person said to me that this was her calling….she worked with the families choosing their readings and hymns and preparing their loved one for their entry into heaven to meet the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
There are so many opportunities to practice hospitality within our church community and the community at large. Absolutely none of them is greater than another, and most of all, they start with a simple smile and “Good day!”….
Our homes and our churches should be places where everyone feels at home. Guests should never feel that they are causing undue extra labor.
In short, all that is really needed to be an excellent host is a loving heart, an open ear and eyes to see Christ in each person who crosses the threshold.
Most of us know the story of Martha and Mary (Luke10:38-42). Martha is the busy one in the kitchen. Mary is the contemplative one listening to Jesus. Jesus rebukes Martha as she is overwhelmed with preparing the meal and Mary is there listening to Jesus. I am sure we have all been there…you are the workhorse, cleaning, and cooking and the co-host is visiting with the guests. It would seem to me that Jesus was an unexpected guest…not calling ahead, but Martha is insistent on preparing a proper meal for him and his followers…undoubtedly Jesus was accompanied by an entourage.
Jesus rebukes Martha for complaining about Mary. Martha was clearly thinking of herself and not others. Sometimes it is more important to listen and speak to your guests than toil in the kitchen…the kitchen chores will be there, but your guest will not always be there. We must take care of the immediate needs of our neighbor, not the dishes that can wait in the sink.
St. Luke does not tell us what happens next….did Martha pout, or did she return to the kitchen mumbling under her breath?
Jesus visits Mary and Martha at the time of their brother’s death. Jesus tells Martha:
I am the Resurrection and the life, whoever believes in me, even if he dies will live, and everyone who lives in me will never die (John 11:25-16).
Do you believe this?
Martha affirms her belief in Jesus’ mission; she has a conversion of the heart. She serves quietly and understands that her sister Mary has been given the gift of a contemplative soul, she is the one whom others depend on to get things done.. Martha is serving with love rather than resentment.
St. Martha is the patron of homemakers, servants and cooks.
O St. Martha, teach me to offer the simple gifts of kindness and hospitality to others as you did to Jesus and his friends. Let my hands and heart be open to God’s word in my life. Bless all those who come to my door. Amen
All that is really needed to be an excellent host is a loving heart, an open ear and eyes to see Christ in each person who crosses my threshold.
